Episode 11: Screen Time
IN THIS EPISODE
paula’s story
What's your stance on screen time? Someone once asked me. My stance? Uhh, I love watching TV. Or…" children under the age of two should not be watching more than 15 minutes of screens a week”, and “Cocomelon is harmful to a child's brain development because of the fast-changing images and colours.” These are all things people have unpromptedly told me at one point or another. My response? Please refer to rule #1 of the club: No judgements OR unsolicited advice. Thanks, but no thanks. Social media, family members, and the World Wide Web take care of that for us.
The topic of screen time is widely discussed and debated, and it is another subject that drives my blood pressure to rocket high numbers. It all comes back to people telling me how I should be parenting, what is best for my child, and if they watch 16 minutes of screens in a week, I am hindering their development.
This is how I see it: Maya started watching Cocomelon when she was about one and a half years old. It played in the background, and then she started paying more attention to it and learned to say different words and link them to what she saw on the screen. Oh, look, a purple book, oh, look, a pink book.
With my second Maddie, the pressures got to me a little bit, so Cocomelon was off the table, but Miss Rachel was and still is very much invited into our home, bunnies and bubble gum included. Why? Because it calms her down by distracting her when she is having a hard time. She is 16 months old; I can't sit down and gently parent her. Maya, however, is now over three years old and watches the iPad—another habitual offender. Again, I have no problem letting my child watch the iPad. Maybe I got lucky because she would rather play with her dolls or outside than watch the iPad, but when she asks me if she can watch it, I say yes 90% of the time. Everybody needs some quiet time, and so do I. In our home, screens were never a special treat that you could only have for 15 minutes a week. It was always accessible, and when something is always accessible, in my experience, my children want it less than when something is treated as unique and limited. Anything in excess is not ideal, and moderation is best. However, letting my children watch screens before they were two or giving them access to the iPad will turn them into lazy, unsensible, non-imaginative humans.
The point is that everyone and their mother is telling me not to let my child have “too much” screen time, but nobody is telling me why. What are the impacts, short-term, long-term, statistics, data...and are certain shows better than others? I think there is more to it than just saying cut and dry; too much screen time hinders a child's development.
melissa’s story
Being a parent of four children under six, Melissa explains that her views on screen time have fluctuated from child number one to child number three and four. When her first was born, she admitted to having “drank the Kool-Aid” and never wanted him to sit in front of the TV like a zombie. Once her second and then her twins came along, her stance on TV was a little more flexible. Melissa shares that generally, with four kids running around between activities and school/daycare, they don’t have much time for TV. Still, on the weekends, after lunch, during “quiet time,” she says it’s an excellent tool to calm their bodies and help bring down those moments of over-stimulation. She shares that when she was growing up, the TV was on all the time, and the only reason it’s not on all the time at the house is that she and her husband don’t usually watch TV, but screen time is not something that she obsesses over or gives it much importance.
“you also want to monitor what they are watching and ensure it’s something positive…”
Melissa tries to be aware of what her kids watch. They like what they like, and her son likes to watch Ninja Turtles and then reenact the fighting scenes, but I guess it’s up to us as parents to teach them that what’s on TV is not what happens in real life.
Melissa advocates for not having iPads when they go out to eat because she wants to teach her children how to behave in a social setting and not resort to screens. Having four children, she admits that going out with them is not an enjoyable experience; it’s mainly because she didn’t cook that day, and everyone needs to eat. Vacation is a different story, as all rules go out the window when you’re at a resort eating at a restaurant three times a day. She explains that when she goes to restaurants with some adults, they are on their phones rather than being part of a social conversation, and she wants to teach her children to take part in those moments and not expect to have a screen every time they go out to eat.
francesca’s story
Francesca shares similarities with Melissa in her stance on screen time, but she tries to have certain limits in place in her home. For example, her daughter Tessa, who is three years old, is not permitted to watch TV before going to daycare, but when she comes home before dinner, the TV is usually allowed. On the weekends in the mornings, Francesca shares that she doesn’t pay too much attention to how much screen time her daughter is getting as, like Melissa, she believes that it’s a tool to keep her busy, also allowing Francesca to do other things around the house without interruption.
“it’s definitely not poison in my mind, anything in moderation is fine…”
Francesca mentions that the only times she feels like screen time should be limited is when it’s a Saturday morning, and Tessa has been watching two and half hours of Paw Patrol because time escaped them as they were doing house chores or the calendar is empty that day. At that point, she felt like Tessa had been zoned into the TV for a long enough time, and it was time to do something else.
Francesca mentions that one of her struggles is that nowadays, shows that are being streamed are on a loop, so it’s difficult to put an end to it since they keep going. They try putting the shows that Tessa likes on a playlist, and when they are done, it shuts off, signalling her that TV time is now over.
We started talking about screens at the restaurant, which is always a big topic because it seems so frowned upon. Francesca shares that even if you give crayons or stickers to her daughter at the restaurant, that will keep her entertained for a whole three minutes. Especially when having multiple children, going to the restaurant is not usually a pleasurable experience for us parents since kids are developmentally incapable of sitting down for long periods of time.