paula’s story
As you know, I have two little girls, Maya, who is three and Maddie, who is one and let me tell you that my birth stories for each were so different. I remember it being a Friday afternoon, five days past my due date, and induction was set for the following Monday. I'm washing the dishes in my NEW kitchen sink, the guy is still there doing the finishing touches, and suddenly, I feel a small liquid drizzling down my leg. For a split second, I wondered: did I pee myself? Nope! not incontinente yet! This is the day! Right away, I went upstairs to pee, screamed Matt’s name, and told him this is it; we must go to the hospital. My carry-on suitcase was packed, and I distinctly remember walking down my staircase thinking, " Next time I see this hallway, it will be with a brand new baby girl," as if I was going to purchase a new pair of shoes. The excitement was comparable to knowing a new addition was coming and that I would be taking something home soon; little did I know that a baby girl is not a something but rather a life-changing someone.
We got to the hospital, and they gave me a gown and attached all these wires to my belly. I'm thinking at this point, this is not bad at all. A couple of hours in, they informed me that things were not progressing as they would have liked. Maya's heart rate fluctuated, so they decided to induce me with Petocin to get the contractions coming and get this delivery moving. The contractions came and went, and I remember thinking, this is quite manageable actually; I'm going to ask for the epidural and easy breezy lemon squeezy, push push out!
Contractions started getting closer and a lot more painful; I remember standing up and hitting the wall every time I felt one coming. Finally, the epidural, ah relief! I couldn't feel any contractions anymore; I was lying in my hospital bed, ready to sleep. Doctors were coming and going all night, checking me to see how dilated I was; I had time for three doctors to start and finish their shifts before I was told to start pushing. And then the pushing, I think I pushed for about 2 hours and baby Maya finally came out.
When Maddie was born, I knew what to expect from Maya’s birth, so the feeling was slightly different going into labour. Also, I was almost 42 weeks and had to be induced because that little girl did not want to come out. I clearly remember two things. After getting the epidural, my legs felt like logs; I couldn’t lift one at all. What did that result in? Uncontrollable bowel movements, to put it lightly, and the satisfying feeling of water gushing out of me, which I now know to be amniotic fluid. Since this was my second birth in two years, my cervix remembered what it had to do. I pushed for maybe thirty minutes, and to my surprise, my OB told me to grab Maddie and pull her out! I was like, you want me to do what? I'm not a Kardashian! I was terrified that I would grab her by the neck and her head would fall off; I couldn’t see a thing! But things were going so fast that I did as I was told and pulled her out of me and onto my chest; I immediately started crying with relief and pure love. What a trip!
francesca’s story
Francesca begins by reminding us that her daughter, Tessa, was born in April 2020, one month after the pandemic started. This meant that hospitals were on high alert, and the specific one where Francesca was going to give birth had already advised her that she was the only one who could enter when the time came. That moment did come; at two in the morning, at her house, Francesca felt her water break, and off they went to the hospital, where her husband Mike graciously dropped her off, hospital bag in hand.
“Bye…i’ll call you when i’m done…”
Knowing she would have to give birth to her daughter all by herself, with no husband and no support whatsoever, Francesca knew it would be difficult, and considering herself to be a strong person, she thought she could handle it. She didn’t expect the unexpected series of events that she had no idea was about to happen.
Thankfully, at the nurse’s shift change, Francesca was introduced to a delightful young nurse who made a point to check in on her every hour or so to see how she was doing. Although Francesca appreciated the gesture, she still felt the void of not having Mike there with her. At around 8cm dilated, Francesca, now awake for over 24 hours, is being told that she has stopped progressing and was given medications to help move her along, which did not end up taking effect. At the following shift change, the doctors came in and told Francesca that they were recommending a C-section, and as they started explaining all the risks and implications, she stopped them right there.
“please tell him everything you’re telling me; I’M too tired…”
She put Mike on FaceTime with the doctor and asked her to explain everything involving the C-section because, at this point, Francesca hadn’t slept in over 30 hours, she was loopy from all the medication, and in no state to consent to any legalities. After she hung up the phone, the doctor took Francesca down to the operating room, where she began the surgery, and finally, Tessa was born. At this moment, Francesca was introduced to her newborn daughter and had her on her chest for skin-to-skin contact, and all of a sudden, she called out for someone to remove Tessa from her body as she felt cold, shaky and nauseous. The reason was that she had lost so much blood during her 20-plus hours of labour that she threw up in the operating room. She was finally brought to the ICU to recover, and Tessa was brought to the nursery, where she was taken care of. The first night spent at the hospital with a newborn is already challenging enough, but doing it by yourself after having had open abdomen surgery brings a whole new meaning to the world challenge. But Francesca, being as tough as she is, was walking within two hours, getting up to feed Tessa on her own with the one goal of getting out of there and going home.
“they let him come up! After all that, they let him up!…”
When she was discharged, Mike went up to the hospital room to get Francesca and Tessa and to our shock, they let him up in the hospital room only then! Why? Because after a C-Section, Francesca was not allowed to carry the car seat. They bundled her up and left as fast as possible.
Vanessa’s Story
Similarly to Francesca, Vanessa also had an unplanned C-section with her first daughter, Emma. Her story starts a little differently as she shares something Dom had told her about her birthing story that stuck with her. Dom was one of the first among us to give birth, and she shared with Vanessa that when she started feeling contractions, she went to the hospital, and they sent her back as she wasn’t far along enough. Vanessa remembered that as her contractions began, she told herself she would not get sent home. Her mindset was to wait until she couldn’t take it anymore before going anywhere. About 24 hours into having contractions, Vanessa remembers squatting in her apartment and screaming every time a contraction came and went.
“i can only describe this as ANIMAL-LIKE…i felt really animalistic…”
Chris, her husband, made the call to the hospital as the contractions were getting closer together and more intense, and the nurse suggested they come in right away, hearing Vanessa scream on the other end of the phone. When they arrived at the hospital, Vanessa was already 8cm dilated, which is quite far along and almost too far for an epidural. She was then asked if she wanted the epidural as she was still within the limit of receiving it and thought that she had suffered enough, so she accepted and got it. As soon as the epidural made its way into her body, her labour stopped progressing. More than 24 hours later, and not moving along much at all, Vanessa was also given Petocin to accelerate the labour and get her baby out. Unfortunately, Emma did not react well to the hormone, and her heart rate was decelerating, which led to a rush of doctors and nurses into her hospital room, telling Vanessa they had to perform a C-section right away. There was no asking for consent; this was, and felt like an emergency situation.
“Sure, i mean whatever we have got to do…”
Vanessa barely remembers the surgery, as it all happened so fast, but she does remember feeling like she had done all this work and just wanted the satisfaction of giving birth. She says she felt as if she got robbed of the experience of having a vaginal birth after having gone through all those contractions for such a long time. After the operation, she wasn’t even given the opportunity to have skin-to-skin contact with Emma as she started convulsing, and Emma needed to be given to Chris, who then took off his shirt and performed skin-to-skin. The following six hours were a blur; she could have been asleep, but she claims that she has no recollection of the moments during or after her surgery. They kept Vanessa and her new family at the hospital for about four days; there were no explanations or red flags, maybe because of all the trauma her body had undergone. She tells us that she felt a certain comfort at the hospital, a certain ease as she didn’t experience difficulty breastfeeding and if there was an issue, the staff was always around to help.
“now we are going out into the real world. CAN we really do this?…”
In retrospect, Vanessa shares that she would have probably appreciated if someone had advised her in the 24 hours that she was at the hospital labouring that a C-section could be a possibility so she could at least mentally prepare herself for the event had the words event been uttered to her prior.
Her second pregnancy went entirely differently, even if it still was a C-section, but it was a planned one, and she explains that she felt more prepared going into it, which allowed her also to feel more present. Although she was given the option to have a vaginal birth this time around, she was told that Alice, her second daughter, was measuring small in the wound and that she might have to undergo another C-section if the placenta wasn’t doing its job at feeding her properly. Vanessa went through some time with extra rest, increasing her food portions, and doing everything she could to increase her baby’s weight. During her last ultrasound, the healthcare professionals had recommended a planned C-section as she was still measuring relatively small. When Alice finally made her debut, Vanessa distinctly remembers screaming: “What’s the weight?” her husband responded: “We got a 6-pounder!” Filled with relief, Vanessa knew at that moment that everything was going to be okay and everything was indeed OK.
Alix’s Story
Alix begins her story by sharing that she was induced for all three of her pregnancies because she developed diabetes when she got pregnant all three times. Her first two deliveries were very similar and sounded like your textbook induction labour. The third time, she specifies, was different. She remembers the nurse repeating to her that this delivery is going to be different over and over again. Wondering what she was talking about, Alix was reclassified as being about 2cm dilated and thought this would be a long day. And again, the nurse repeated to her, this time is going to be different; you’re going to be 2cm, and then you’re going to be 10cm, and it’s going to happen immediately. After receiving the epidural, four or five hours have gone by, and Alix is on her side resting, chilling, thinking she was maybe 3cm now, maybe 4cm. All of a sudden, she felt a contraction and asked the nurse if she lowered the epidural dose. Immediately, the nurse reacted and told her to open her legs and start pushing. Alix, still on her side, not even having had the time to turn onto her back, started pushing with about five doctors around her.
“it went from 2cm, chilling resting to it’s coming, the baby’s coming!!!..”
Telling the story now, Alix finds it very funny how fast things progressed with her third delivery, almost a shocking amount of time, and what a surprise it was as it was so different from the first two.
